Archive for the ‘Bride Kidnapping’ Category

Single men, are you stressed by dating? Is your wallet lean from expensive dates? Are you weary of sharing personal information and intimate feelings to woo your woman?

Would you like to free all men from the stresses of dating, and renew male dominance in society?

Consider the Central Asian practice of bride kidnapping!

It’s simple. First convince your relatives that bride kidnapping is the most honorable, economical way to secure a bride. Then seek the girl of your dreams. Maybe you already know her and she has rejected your friendship or even your marriage proposal. If you haven’t met her yet, find a beauty on the street or at a mall, or meet her at a party. No need to talk with her or court her—just discover where she lives, and wait until dark. While she’s dreaming of meeting the perfect man, sneak into her house and kidnap her. Have an escape car ready, and drive directly to your parents’ home.

With your relatives’ help to contain her kicking and screaming, force her into a back room and consummate the marriage. Keep her captive until she accepts that you are her ideal man. She’ll soon overlook your minor flaws of binge drinking, wife-beating, and frequent flings with other women. She’ll joyfully serve as slave to your mother and your older brothers’ wives, because soon she’ll no longer be the lowest slave—when your younger brother kidnaps his bride.

It really is quite simple. All you have to do is pay off the police and they’ll help you protect your prize—the woman who is rightfully yours. After all, bride kidnapping is a gallant tradition of which even Julius Caesar would approve: I came. I saw. I conquered.

Think of the positive effects on society. Men will regain their rightful place as rulers of their homes, and therefore of society and the world. Women will develop a healthy fear of men and become submissive and servile. What freedom! No more emotional sharing, no more expensive dates, no more upsetting equality. Men will rule with a righteous harsh hand. Their wives will always provide them food, sex and comfort, and the world will be a better place.

Bride kidnapping offers hope for a return to true manhood and a perfectly male-dominated society. Why wait?

Bride Kidnapping in Kyrgyzstan


Learn more about Bride Kidnapping:

Photo Essay: Take this Woman to be Your Wife
Since Kyrgyzstan gained its independence in 1991, there has been a revival of the ancient practice of ‘grab and run’ weddings.

Kadyrov Takes a Stand Against Bride-Napping
Describes bride kidnapping in the Russian Caucasus.

Bride Kidnapping
Review of Petr Lom’s film, “Bride Kidnapping in Kyrgyzstan.”

Bride Kidnapping Website
Website of Dr. Russell Kleinbach, professor of sociology at Philadelphia University.